Every word I write is love, knowledge of my soul's mind expressing truth.- Me

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Too Late

The scent of roses hang heavily in the air.

A sense of joyful anticipation goes through the crowd.

Everyone is waiting.

From the very last pew in the farthest corner I sit, my stomach in knots.

The coldness from the hard wood seeps into the rest of my body.

My hands are clammy, twisting the strap of my purse as I sit there.

Every seat is filled with strangers- people I could have known.

The music starts and everyone rises- smiles on their faces.

Usually when the music starts you're supposed to look at the bride.

Not me.

My eyes are focused on the groom.

My breath catches and my heart shatters into a million pieces as I look at him.

The golds and blues from the stained glass windows behind him sets his happy aura afire.

I cover my mouth with a Kleenex to mute the sound of agony escaping my lips.

But the music is so loud no one would have heard anyways.

The love and glistening of happy tears sparkles in his eyes as he watches his love float towards him- a vision in white.

He doesn't know I exist.

It wasn't easy keeping my love a secret from him.

I knew he was my soul-mate the moment we met on the playground at age five.

Through the years I waited, knowing that someday we'd be together forever.

But the words "I love you," came way too late.

Tears stream down my face as the lovers join hands and their vows are spoken.

I feel lower than low, my heart raw from the pain.

A chorus of applause goes up as the couple faces the congregation.

My dreams evaporate- disappearing like the smoke from the unity candle.

I was too late now-

No way to redeem myself.

My vision blurs as he walks past.

A slight flicker of his eyes in my direction and I knew he'd seen me.

And just like that, like the sun shining in through the windows-

He was gone.

Leaving darkness and heartache in his wake.

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